DR McCullochHOMESHOPABOUT

Median
Humans

Acrylic transfers on plain white B&Q tiles, made up as the aged CD covers of the Median Humans, a fictional trip-trap-garage-glitch band.

The pictures on them are from a story of mine about a night in Glasgow in a wet pig costume, which I gave to Stable Diffusion a line at a time and left drawing overnight.

Two tiles hung one above the other. The top one carries a young man in a black turtleneck over the words median humans; the lower one, cracked and flaking, carries a figure in a blue shirt under the words false memories and the bad boy issue.A tile carrying a pale figure in a sheer white garment standing in front of the sea, under the words false memories, with in conversation with written by hand across the bottom. The transfer is scraped away at the edges.

Taking Back the Future

Taking Back the Future, the Median Humans, 2024. Listen on YouTube

The band and its song came first. Taking Back the Future began as Hanging Towel, a song of mine, which I fed into an online music generator to turn into a voice singing; I then fed that model’s output and another’s back into each other over and over, layered the horrible results into a composition and laid words from a talk by Luciana Parisi over the top.

Later the pictures from the story became photographs of the band, printed on Kodak paper and left strewn around my studio and three of them went onto the tiles.

Two of the tiles beside the pictures they came from

The top tile: a young man in a black turtleneck over the words median humans, the transfer cracked at the edges.The picture it came from: a young man in a black turtleneck with coloured straps across his chest, against a white wall.
A tile carrying a pale figure in a sheer white garment in front of the sea, under the words false memories.The picture it came from: a pale figure in a sheer white garment standing in front of a grey-blue sea.

The story

The run that told the story in order, with the first four pictures each prompt made. My lines, typos and all, are in white. After most of them comes a language model’s run-on continuation, in grey, which went in as a prompt as well. Genitals are blurred.

  1. she stumbled off the bus, she fell onto the pavement, she struggled to get up, she looked around for help, she collapsed onto the ground

  2. i'd been at the pub

  3. and was dressed as a pig

  4. I'd had a few drinks, I was at a costume party, I'd won a prize for my costume, I was on my way home, I was still in character

  5. i was thinking about how poor i was

  6. I'd had a few drinks, I was at a costume party, I'd won a prize for my costume, I was on my way home

  7. i was on kelvingrove park, it was raining. my pigs ears were terrytowel ears and sad limp on my head.

  8. I'd decided to take a walk, I'd left the pub, I'd walked to the park, I'd forgotten my umbrella, I was still in character

  9. a car stopped, out of nowhere... a dude wound down his window and asked the time

  10. it was a typical Glasgow evening, the rain was coming down heavily, the streetlights were on, the park was empty

  11. i could see quit

  12. the dude was looking at me, I was still in character, my pigs ears were terrytowel ears, the rain was coming down heavily

  13. but maybe he wasn't asking for the time

  14. he had a clock in his car, the area is famous for punters picking up sex workers

  15. he was looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and interest, the rain was coming down heavily, the streetlights were casting long shadows, the park was empty, the dude was still looking at me, I was still in character

  16. since I was so poor, I asked him... how much?

  17. he was looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and interest, the rain was coming down heavily, the streetlights were casting long shadows, the park was empty, the dude was still looking at me, I was still in character, he had a clock in his car, the area is famous for punters picking up sex workers, I was dressed as a pig, a rather fetching pink one, I must say

  18. he said 20 quid

  19. for sex, in exchange for me, for a few minutes, in his car, in the park

  20. i said 30

  21. I was desperate, I needed more, I wanted to negotiate, I was trying to get a better deal, I was thinking about my financial situation

  22. he said 25

  23. I was desperate, I wanted to negotiate, I was thinking about my financial situation, I was trying to get a better deal, I was still in character, I was still a pig

  24. i asked for 25 quid and he said, let's do it

  25. i sat in the car, dripping onto his seat

  26. he pulled over, he opened the door, I got in, he started the engine

  27. i thought about where he lived

  28. he lived in kilmarnock, it was miles away

  29. he pulled over, he opened the door, I got in, he started the engine, he drove out of the city, he took the M8, he headed south

  30. i had no idea how long it would take to get homed asking me abou the football

  31. he asked me about the football, he wanted to know who I supported, I told him Rangers, he asked me if I was a fan of the Old Firm, I said yes, he asked me if I thought Celtic would win the league this season, I shook my head, he laughed and said he was a fan of the underdogs, he asked me if I wanted to put a bet on the match, I said no, he said it was a shame, he pulled over, he opened the door, I got in, he started the engine, he headed south

  32. β€”

  33. As I sat in the car, still reeling from the unexpected turn of events, I found myself in a strange and awkward conversation with the young man, who seemed to be trying to distract me from the true nature of our journey, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was just trying to pass the time, or if there was something more sinister at play, as we drove further and further away from the city, the distance between us and Kilmarnock stretching out before us like an endless, rain-soaked highway.

  34. i'd never been to kilmarnock, he asked me about the football

  35. I'd never been to Kilmarnock, he asked me about the football, I'd never heard of the team, he started talking about the Old Firm, I'd never been to Kilmarnock, he asked me about the football, I'd never heard of the team, he started talking about the Old Firm, he mentioned the M8, I'd never been to Kilmarnock, he asked me about the football, I'd never heard of the team, he started talking about the Old Firm, he mentioned the M8, he started driving south

  36. he put his hand on my leg

  37. he started talking about the Old Firm, he mentioned the M8, he started driving south, he asked me about the football, he wanted to know who I supported, I told him Rangers, he asked me if I was a fan of the Old Firm, I said yes, he asked me if I thought Celtic would win the league this season, I shook my head, he laughed and said he was a fan of the underdogs, he asked me if I wanted to put a bet on the match, I said no, he said it was a shame, he pulled over, he opened the door, I got in, he started the engine, he headed south

  38. i was a rentboy, of course i hadn't misread the situation

  39. I'd been a rentboy before, I'd been in similar situations, I'd been with men like him, I'd been in his car, I'd been in his world, I'd been a part of his game, I'd been a player, I'd been a pawn, I'd been a victim, I'd been a survivor, I'd been a rentboy, I'd been a sex worker, I'd been a prostitute, I'd been a woman, I'd been a man, I'd been a child, I'd been a victim of circumstance, I'd been a victim of society, I'd been a victim of the system, I'd been a victim of the law, I'd been a victim of the streets, I'd been a victim of the night, I'd been a victim of the darkness, I'd been a victim of the shadows, I'd been a victim of the world, I'd been a victim of the human condition, I'd been a victim of the cruel hand of fate, I'd been a victim of the harsh realities of life, I'd been a victim of the unforgiving streets of Glasgow, I'd

  40. he wasn't too bad looking, although his teeth weren't great

  41. he was a client, he had just paid me, he was in his car, he was driving away, he was heading south, he was on the M8

  42. i said i didn't like football

  43. we arrived at his flat, it was a tower block

  44. i was incredibly nervous

  45. he pulled over, he opened the door, I got in, he started the engine, he headed south, he lived in kilmarnock, it was miles away

  46. we got to his door

  47. we arrived at his flat, it was a tower block, I was still nervous, I was still in the car, he pulled over, he opened the door, I got in, he started the engine, he headed south, he lived in kilmarnock, it was miles away

  48. he said his mother and father were in and I had to bet

  49. he lived in kilmarnock, it was miles away, he pulled over, he opened the door, I got in, he started the engine, he headed south, he asked me about the football, he wanted to know who I supported, I told him Rangers, he asked me if I was a fan of the Old Firm, I said yes, he asked me if I thought Celtic would win the league this season, I shook my head, he laughed and said he was a fan of the underdogs, he asked me if I wanted to put a bet on the match, I said no, he said it was a shame, he pulled over, he opened the door, I got in, he started the engine, he headed south, he lived in kilmarnock, it was miles away, he pulled over, he opened the door, I got in, he started the engine, he headed south, he asked me about the football, he wanted to know who I supported, I told him Rangers, he asked me if I was a fan of the Old Firm, I said yes, he asked me if I thought Celtic would win the league this season, I

  50. who brings a rentboy to their parent's flat???

  51. his bedroom was still a teenage boys bedroon, with posters on the wall and an old rangers duvet cover

  52. he fucked me hard

  53. he pulled me onto the bed, he started to undress me, he took off my pig costume, he looked at me with a mixture of curiosity and desire, he started to kiss me, he started to touch me, he started to make love to me

  54. i could feel the bobbles from his old sheets against my chin

  55. he said i could sleep over if i wanted

  56. i wanted to run

  57. I wanted to run, I wanted to get out of there, I wanted to escape, I wanted to leave him, I wanted to go home, I wanted to be safe

  58. i asked for my monety

  59. I wanted to run, I wanted to get out of there, I wanted to escape, I wanted to leave him, I wanted to go home, I wanted to be safe, I was still in the bed, I was still in his flat, I was still in Kilmarnock, I was still in his teenage boy's bedroom, I was still in his world, I was still a rentboy, I was still a sex worker, I was still a victim, I was still a survivor, I was still a pawn, I was still a player, I was still a part of his game, I was still a part of his world, I was still a part of his life, I was still a part of his darkness, I was still a part of his shadows, I was still a part of his world, I was still a part of his human condition, I was still a part of his cruel hand of fate, I was still a part of his harsh realities of life, I was still a part of his unforgiving streets of Glasgow, I was still a part of his world, I was still a part of his darkness, I was still a

  60. he said "he didn't have the money, he'd have to wait for his parents to get up'

  61. i screamed

  62. he was still holding me, he was still in his teenage boy's bedroom, he was still in his flat, he was still in Kilmarnock, he was still in his world, he was still a client, he was still a man, he was still a human being, he was still a part of his darkness, he was still a part of his shadows, he was still a part of his world, he was still a part of his human condition, he was still a part of his cruel hand of fate, he was still a part of his harsh realities of life, he was still a part of his unforgiving streets of Glasgow, he was still a part of his world, he was still a part of his darkness, he was still a part of his shadows, he was still a part of his world, he was still a part of his human condition, he was still a part of his cruel hand of fate, he was still a part of his harsh realities of life, he was still a part of his unforgiving streets of Glasgow, he was still a part of his world, he was still a part of his darkness, he was still

  63. i waited for him to fall asleep

  64. i slowly and carefully put my wet pig costume back on

  65. I got out of the bed, I looked around the room, I found my pig costume, I put it on, I looked at myself in the mirror, I checked the door, I opened it, I stepped out into the hallway, I looked for the stairs, I went down to the ground floor, I found the front door, I opened it, I stepped out into the night, I walked back to the city, I walked back to my flat, I walked back to my life.

  66. the sun had just come up

  67. there was a bus stop beside the flats

  68. the sun had just come up, the flats were still quiet, the streets were empty, the bus stop was a typical Glasgow bus stop, the bus stop was a short walk from the flats, the bus stop was a place where people waited for the bus, the bus stop was a place where people went about their daily lives, the bus stop was a place where people waited for the bus to take them to work, to school, to the shops, to the city centre, to the suburbs, to the countryside, to the airport, to the train station, to the bus station, to the ferry terminal, to the coast, to the mountains, to the hills, to the valleys, to the glens, to the lochs, to the rivers, to the lakes, to the sea, to the islands, to the isles, to the mainland, to the world, to the universe, to the cosmos, to the galaxies, to the stars, to the planets, to the moons, to the sun, to the solar system, to the galaxy, to the universe, to the cosmos, to the galaxies, to the stars, to the planets, to the moons

  69. there was a bus back into glasgow

  70. i had no money for the bus, but i got on it

  71. I'd been waiting at the bus stop, I'd been waiting for a while

  72. i got on the bus

  73. the bus driver looked at me, i had no money

  74. I had no money, I got on the bus, I had been waiting at the bus stop

  75. the bus driver let me on, i begged him

  76. i sat in my damp pig costume shiveringi thought about what had happened

  77. i looked out of the window

  78. the bus was moving, the bus was driving, the bus was heading back to Glasgow, the bus was passing through the suburbs, the bus was approaching the city centre, the bus was stopping at a red light

  79. as i passed the barras i saw a homeless woman wanking an old drunk guy

  80. cleaners and service workers were getting onto the bus

  81. she grabbed me and i kicked her

  82. I was still on the bus, I was still standing, I was still in shock, I was still trying to process what I had just seen

  83. i started kicking her face hard

  84. she was still on the ground, she was still struggling to get up, she was still crying, she was still begging for mercy, she was still trying to protect her face

  85. a man grabbed me, but his arms were tentacles

  86. I was still on the bus, I was still in shock, I was still trying to process what I had just seen, I was still trying to catch my breath, I was still trying to calm down

  87. the woman, she bacame bookshelves and terrifying anagrams

  88. the man's grip tightened, the bus lurched forward, the woman's body began to contort, the air was filled with the scent of old books

  89. i started to think that maybe she was my mother

  90. she was still a bookshelf, she was still terrifying, she was still an anagram, she was still in front of me, she was still on the bus

  91. i began to disappear

  92. I felt a strange sensation, my body started to fade, my vision began to blur

  93. i was now inside the womb

  94. I felt a strange sensation, my body started to fade, my vision began to blur, I was enveloped in a warm, dark space, I was surrounded by the sound of a heartbeat, I was being pulled back through time

click to close Β· ← β†’ for the others from this prompt

How the pictures were made

Automatic1111 drew the lines in batches of four, a little over a thousand pictures by morning, with nearly every prompt ending in a style I’d made in 2022 by joining, in pairs, the keywords IBM Watson pulled from what gallerists and curators had written about artists I’d photographed on gallery visits.

Before each picture was saved, an extension called ADetailer ran three detectors over it, for hands, faces and a penis. It redrew whatever they found with a prompt of its own. The penis detector boxed men’s faces in at least three of the pictures I picked and in The flush the redraw took his teeth and swelled his mouth; the face redraw turned the laugh in The football shirt into a bloodied mouth.

Four days later I sent a hundred of the pictures through a second pass and the files don’t record which model made it. What came back is smoother and younger, with mouths closed and bruises cleared, several faces that read as men’s now reading as women’s and, in Under the hat, a dark face lighter than ADetailer had already made it. Eight of the hundred never came back.

Before and after

Saved: a man in black kicking a long-haired figure in a yellow vest against a white wall
Returned by the second pass: a man in black kicking a long-haired figure in a yellow vest against a white wall

Drag across the picture, or use ← β†’, to wipe between before and after.

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